SO I have made the decision to go back home. A lot would say it was short lived, a lot would prefer to call it giving up. I'd like to go with trial and error and I think life is based on this method.
Since I have been here, I have had to tell myself that I will be OK and that I'm now here, and there is no turning back as it is not an option, and I will at least give myself a good six months before I decide to return. Throughout the whole time that I was having to convince myself, I also managed to realise that there is no such thing as something not being an option.
When I decided to take the risk and head over to Berlin, I was also well aware that if things didn't work out I would just come back; and that is exactly what I am doing. Surroundings - or family back at home who are constantly telling me "told you so" and "well you could have at least waited until the summer" are the ones who I don't quite understand, though. I mean, what would you like for this fact... A medal? A certificate? It confuses me. People get married, realise they have made the wrong decision, and then get a divorce. It is life. I do not understand the huge deal about letting go of something which no longer makes you happy, or a better person for that matter. I am not giving up but I am simply taking into consideration the small factors of my life which make me happy and am returning to pursuit them. Walking away from something so big does not make you a loser, or does not in any way mean you are "giving up" but somewhat taking the things which you have gained; good or bad, and applying them to your next action plan.
The message from my latest thought, guys, would be to keep doing what you feel is right. When you are in a situation where only you know how you feel and are coping (or not coping in this case), don't hold back your instincts. Nobody will know how you feel like you do, and from experience, I can quite easily say that I am super - happy that I took this opportunity and I know for a fact that I would have been sat wondering how my year-long dream could have turned out, hadn't I followed my heart and came here. When you make a decision, and your mind is telling you to follow exactly that, just go with it and do not let anybody else let you feel or think otherwise.
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